The Bear Chase, 50 Miles of it.

I cannot believe that it has already been a month since The Bear Chase 50 Mile!  It was EPIC!!  I’m not sure I can describe the feelings I had or keep true to that moment…  I was on a runner’s high for almost two weeks.  I should have documented how I felt right after, a few days later, again in a week and compare it all to now.  I do know that I wanted to thank you all for your support and energy during my running of this race, even though the only person I was racing was me and as I found out, the clock! 

The range of thoughts and feelings I had was a roller coaster for this first-timer.  I started the race with nerves (as most people do), the elation of actually doing it, arguing with myself over the mental pain games, the fear of not making the cut off and of making it.  There was a little “Grrr” when I was trying not to cry and the gratefulness to, well… everyone!  None the less, there I was, waiting for the gun to go off (turned out to be an air horn).

I started the first lap at 6:30 AM, on the nose, and I thought, here we go! I got this, I know it! Enjoy every moment! And I did.  I ran along the trail, watching for the glow-sticks marking the path and other runner’s shoes. I was happy that my Husband Mike, Daughter Grace, Dad and Rhonda, and Christina (who was going to run the trail half at 7:30 AM herself) were there for the start!  Mike carried my drop bag, putting it where he or I would remember it.  Dad looked at me like I was nuts.  Grace and Christina watched, both with excited smiles on their faces.  They even surprised me with bright orange ‘Diedre is Ultra Strong’ crew t-shirts.  I should have known that I had the best pit crew!  I felt strong, relaxed, and ready.  At the top of the first hill, I thought, I totally got this! One time up the hill - check, three to go.  And I’m on to the water crossings, which were cooler than I expected and fun! 

It seemed quick, but soon I was bounding across the start/finish line. The awe that I was actually doing it had changed to enjoyment.  Mike was ready for me with my drop bag, more water and a kiss.  I was excited that I felt so good and I was 10 minutes ahead of my plan, even with a 5 minute stop with my crew.  I finally head off again and realize that I forgot to grab some oranges at the aid station and to send the group email.  I needed to remember to ask Dad to send out the emails and to add Heather.  She was in the texting group, which I couldn’t get to work correctly that morning.  Sorry to everyone else in the text group, I couldn’t think of your email addresses on the fly.  About 2 miles in the second loop, I make another mental note: Don’t drink 10 + ounces of water at once and then start running again.  SIDE ACHE!! 

I’m almost to aid station 3.2 and feeling good again.  I like how the trail looks different this time, there were so many things I didn’t notice the first lap, like the trees.  I’ve reached the top of what I’m now calling THE HILL, again.  It’s not the only hill we ‘run’ up, but it is the longest.  I start to wonder when the water crossings will feel good; they’re still a bit crisp.  I also notice that I’m not quite as energetic with my mental mantras towards the end of lap two, but I never had a negative moment.  I still felt like I had plenty of time, strength and energy.  Enough so that I stopped and talked with my friend Jen, who was volunteering at aid station 10.1 (after running the trail half herself).  I think I took the article I read a little too seriously. “Take your time at the aid stations, talk with the volunteers, and enjoy the moment.”  Three minutes later, I’m running again.  

At the end of lap two, I changed my socks (which felt heavenly) and my shoes, fuddled with things in my bag (thinking I needed them), talked about how I felt, my pace and what the trail was like.  I tell Mike he needed sunscreen, give him a kiss and finally get on the move.  I pictured the faces of Christina and Grace as I took off.  Not sure why their faces stuck with me, but it was nice.  I’m feeling good four miles in to lap three, feeling my best mentally too.  The nerves of lap one is gone, the utopia in lap two was behind me and I felt like I was there, in the moment. 

I can’t pinpoint why the change, but the questions started when I reached the top of the hill for the third time.  I’m 31 miles in, how could this hill tank me so bad?  I walked it and I was drinking lots of water.  Maybe because that is when I noticed time was slipping away with my slowing pace.  What if I can’t pick up my speed again? What if I don’t make the cut off?  What if I do?  Can I finish a fourth lap and in time? What do I tell the girls?  Your coach who is ALWAYS talking about 100%, didn’t give it her all?  Hell no!  I found some grit and kept running.

I said I found grit, or maybe it was my mind coping with what I was putting my body thru (after realizing that I wouldn’t listen to giving up).   I would randomly talk out loud…  “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”  One woman behind me giggled.  “Anybody want a peanut?” I added.  The same woman laughed this time.  At least one person got it.  I didn’t find out until the end that it was 88 degrees. That might have had something to do with it. 

Thank goodness for some smiling faces (that I knew) just before the aid station at mile 7.8.  Chan and Eliza walked with me and listened as I figure out how many miles vs. time I had left to run before 3:00 PM.  Cheering me on and telling me ‘You have to make it to lap four, there are more people coming!’  I didn’t realize how much it helped until my pace picked back up to a 12:30 min/mile (I had slowed to 14, or gulp, slower).  Again I saw Eliza and Chan at aid station 10.1; still smiling at me and telling me I looked great and ‘You so got this D!’  Jen had waited past her scheduled volunteer time to see me go thru and to ask what I need.  That’s when I hear ‘you have 36 minutes to the cut off’.  36 minutes?  I don’t like the “f” word, but I think I used it. 

Ok, I can do this, even at 14 minute miles I’ll make it.  Push it Diedre, don’t make it by the hairs on your chin.  Coming around mile 36.5, I see Eliza, Chan, and Marge.  Marge?  Hey Marge!  Focus Diedre, keep running!  As I come down the hill I see DAD!  And Scott?  And David?  Holy cow!  Last turn, run faster Diedre, c’mon!  Yeah! I did it with six minutes to spare.  Ok, not really spare.  I made the cut off, now what?

This trip thru the start/finish was a little more… difficult.  I didn’t hurt. No joint or muscle pain.  My heart rate seemed low, just no go. Oh, and the stomach, eww.  I hadn’t puked, but I sure felt like it.  The mental picture I had of myself wasn’t bad and I only kind of registered the look on Mike’s face as concern - or on Brigid’s, or Christina’s.  And I don’t remember my Dad making it back to the start/finish, but he’s in the pictures.  Thank goodness for David!  No one in my pit crew knew what I needed.  Hell, I didn’t know what I needed.  How could we?  This was OUR first 50 miler!

David, ‘How do you feel?’

Me, ‘Good, tired.’

David, ‘How many of those (my water bottle in my hand) have you had?’

Me, ‘Uh… a lot.’  (I had been tracking during lap one and two, but lost count on three.) 

David, ‘How much have you peed?’

Me, ‘Uh… at the end of each lap, except for this one.  David, this is my husband Mike. Mike, David.’ (I realized that my hubs might want to know who this guy, asking me questions, was.  I didn’t know they had already done the introductions earlier.)

David, ‘What are you eating?’

Me, ‘GU’s and oranges, can’t get anything else down or to sound good.’

David, ‘Ok, keep drinking water, take two endurolites every hour starting now, and keep eating your Gu’s.  Here drink this (16 oz glass of coke with ice) as you walk and walk fast.  You recover just as good walking fast as you do slow.  Drink coke at each aid station.’ 

Me, ‘Ok’. 

And I’m off.  Side note, coke is my new friend and I just don’t seem to walk fast, even when focused.  Ha-ha, I just said I could focus. 

Another runner comes up along side of me and asks if I want to run together, ‘It helps at this point’ he says.  Sure.  Mental note number three, don’t run with a talker when you are at mile 39, at least not one that wants a two-way conversation.  Um…  I gotta go pee, I’ll catch up.  I did feel a little bad because he was telling me what a great crew I had and how motivational they were to everyone!

About two miles in I feel noticeably better and I start to think that I can finish this.  That was a pleasant thought and things kept getting better!  As I come running around a curve, I hear cheering and clapping and look up to see everyone!!  Mike, Grace, Christina, Jen, Laurel, Eliza, Chan, and Brigid!  I have the best group of friends! Trevor was right (the talker at mile 39).  I’m not sure I could ever express to them how much their support helped!  I would never have thought that I would need it, them, that much! 

Running again, I see Dad.  ‘Walk with me Dad’.  ‘Ok, but remember what David said, walk fast.’ We walked in silence and shortly before the aid station at mile 3.2, Dad and I split up.  I didn’t have to do this alone.  I drink coke and eat an orange.  I now know that I can eat an orange in less than 15 seconds and they taste GREAT. 

Running again, yes, Forrest Gump does come into my mind, I see Dad around mile 42.  Someone must have told them that I would need to see them, because almost every time that I felt I had to walk and did, there they were! 

I’ve made it to the hill for the final time.  I walked it, slow, but it was not as draining.  I know I’m tired, because my thoughts are choppier than usual and that is all I remember of the final lap; a thought, an image and not much in between. 

At the water crossings for the last time, everyone is there again!  Man you guys have great timing!  I am tired, talking, and a little rude. I’m frustrated by two runners behind me (we had leap-frogged each other during lap three) that I can’t seem to pull away from.  I know I use the “f” word this time.  Sorry Tweedle Dits, the name I have given the two runners, and again, I felt bad.  I wish there was a ‘Best Aid Station’ award because the volunteers at 7.8 would have taken it!  As I walk up to the aid station, this amazing woman came down to meet me, asks me what I need and heads back up the hill with my water bottle.  She even rolls ice into my handkerchief that I have tied around my neck, which felt awesome! 

I realize at this point, that I have always said thank you to the volunteers at aid stations and now I know why.  

I’m nearing the end, only 4.7 miles to go and I can say that I am an Ultra runner!  There is a long, flat stretch (which you would think I would be thankful for) between the aid stations and all I can think is ‘Come on Diedre, keep going, you can do this.’  Chan would later tell me that I wasn’t only thinking that.  Yes, I do talk to myself.  I answer sometimes too.  I managed to choke down GU and fight to keep it down.  I know I need it. 

Finally!  I’m at aid station 10.1, Brigid brings me more soda and Christina puts more ice in my handkerchief.  The aid station volunteers give me some of the best news… 45 minutes to the cut off!  Yes, I know I can do this!  I am ULTRA DIEDRE and I pick up the pace, back to a blistering 11 minute mile and that is rocking at this point!  When I realize that I am down to the last mile and can see everyone waiting for me, cheering me in, I run one of my fastest miles ever in to the finish!  11 hours, 42 minutes and 22 seconds!  I have just run 50 miles! 

I still want my socks.  After all, I AM a 50 Mile Finisher!